So you thought that if an Android app did not exist for a problem, then that problem is either a) not a problem at all; or b) does not deserve a solution. Well, that's not true. I will give you an example (although there might be an Android app to solve this problem, in which case just pretend that there isn't. I am a dinosaur, I still use a Blackberry, so I wouldn't know if such an Android app existed.)
Problem: Fellow males of the human species (and females who like to wear apparel traditionally designed for men), when and how do you know that you are fat?
Explanation: I have talked to women weighing 95 pounds who would suddenly go on an oatmeal-only diet because they thought they were gaining weight. I also know skinny women who suddenly start starving before the imminent advent of summer because they have to get into their bikinis and look good. But that is not what I mean. I mean F.A.T, like you look like a huge lump of shapeless flesh and adipose tissue that has suddenly sprouted human features.
Solution: There will be several answers at this point, involving one or more of the following:
a) machinery and gadgets, e.g., bathroom scales, sophisticated weighing machines that can measure fat content;
b) smart-phone apps and numerous metrics, e.g., BMI, weight-to-height ratio, body structure;
c) plethora of subjective data points, e.g., broken furniture, creaking beds, tying shoelaces, ruptured or tight apparel;
d) imbibed behavioral jargon, e.g., lack of mobility, lack of alacrity,
etc.
While none of them would necessarily be incorrect, none of them are the most accurate, or the simplest. Clothes can shrink, apps and machines can be faulty, and subjective data is exactly that - subjective. The most accurate assessment of the direction in which your girth is going is provided by the insignificant little thing you wear around your waist - your belt. If you are shifting between holes on your belt in a counter-clockwise direction, and the angle of the buckle from the ground is beginning to reduce from the desired right-angle, then you know for sure that you are fattening up. This is an indicator that cannot go wrong; it is fault-proof. And it is not an Android app.
If you don't agree, you can ask Siri - she can tell you anything once she understands what you are saying to her. Now that Paul is dead. Unless Paul has been reincarnated as an Android app.
Problem: Fellow males of the human species (and females who like to wear apparel traditionally designed for men), when and how do you know that you are fat?
Explanation: I have talked to women weighing 95 pounds who would suddenly go on an oatmeal-only diet because they thought they were gaining weight. I also know skinny women who suddenly start starving before the imminent advent of summer because they have to get into their bikinis and look good. But that is not what I mean. I mean F.A.T, like you look like a huge lump of shapeless flesh and adipose tissue that has suddenly sprouted human features.
Solution: There will be several answers at this point, involving one or more of the following:
a) machinery and gadgets, e.g., bathroom scales, sophisticated weighing machines that can measure fat content;
b) smart-phone apps and numerous metrics, e.g., BMI, weight-to-height ratio, body structure;
c) plethora of subjective data points, e.g., broken furniture, creaking beds, tying shoelaces, ruptured or tight apparel;
d) imbibed behavioral jargon, e.g., lack of mobility, lack of alacrity,
etc.
While none of them would necessarily be incorrect, none of them are the most accurate, or the simplest. Clothes can shrink, apps and machines can be faulty, and subjective data is exactly that - subjective. The most accurate assessment of the direction in which your girth is going is provided by the insignificant little thing you wear around your waist - your belt. If you are shifting between holes on your belt in a counter-clockwise direction, and the angle of the buckle from the ground is beginning to reduce from the desired right-angle, then you know for sure that you are fattening up. This is an indicator that cannot go wrong; it is fault-proof. And it is not an Android app.
If you don't agree, you can ask Siri - she can tell you anything once she understands what you are saying to her. Now that Paul is dead. Unless Paul has been reincarnated as an Android app.
